Monday, November 3, 2008

Weird Oddities of Some Navy Wives

There are definitely a lot of weird things about military life. The one that mystifies me most, however, comes from those that marry into it. I have heard so many times that so-and-so doesn't want to get to know any of the other wives on their husband's boat. Sometimes, they go so far as to say they don't want to associate with any Navy wives, period. I really don't get this. Saying that makes as much sense as saying, "See all those people with curly hair? I don't want to meet any of them because they have curly hair just like me." Yep, that's right. You know all those Navy wives that you want nothing to do with? You are one of them! Seriously, why does this not occur to people who say that? What makes them think they are different from everyone else who married someone in the Navy? And why not make bonds with the people that are going through all this chaos with you? Becoming friends with someone whose husband serves with yours doesn't force you to become the next FRG leader. Trust me, I volunteered for my job; no one forced me to do it. As annoying as I find this, though, they are really only hurting themselves. These are the same people who complain the most about feeling isolated and friendless, who move home during deployments rather than making connections in the place they live (although, as with anything, there are obviously more reasons than not building a life to go back home), and the ones that never know what is going on with the boat because they refuse to go to meetings where that sort of information is given. I just wish I knew what kind of thought process goes into this. Is there some kind of perception that anyone who marries a guy in the Navy is automatically a loser who will gossip about you behind your back? Last time I checked, none of my friends, most of whom are military wives, are like this. They are pretty normal people, not that different from the friends I've made outside our Navy circle. The main difference? I don't have to explain much about what's going on; they already know about duty and what it's like the day the boat leaves, about the uncertainties of every day, and how the Navy is always demanding what you don't want to give. I wouldn't trade these friendships for anything. These are the people who got me through my toughest deployments, and helped me acclimate to this new life five years ago. If you feel so strongly that all Navy wives are beneath you, well, I feel sorry for you. You're missing out.

3 sonar pings:

sues2u2 said...

I've met those wives you're talking about. When we were in England & Germany those were the wives who sat @ home & were utterly miserable in base housing while we were out exploring the countryside. They were also the ones whose marriages (for more than a few) failed. They forgot who & what their families ultimately were/are. MILITARY!

Btw, did you watch the season finale of Army Wives? Pamela somewhat (okay, I'm stretching here) examined this issue.

Ana said...

Yes, I did watch that episode! I almost posted about it, but went with this after reading somebody's blog who echoed this attitude. Maybe I'll write about that tomorrow.

Mrs. Staff Sergeant said...

I've wondered about this too. I've also heard a few military wives say they refuse to live on base because they "don't want the military to be their lives". Huh?? The military IS your life. Living off base doesn't really change that. It's never going to be "just a job" that you can "leave at the office", ya know what I mean?

I don't get it. I'm proud to be a military wife. I would hope we wouldn't still be serving our country if we were ashamed of it.