Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Reflections on the Past

I haven't been posting much on here. I think about it, then I just don't. Maybe blogging has run its course with me - I actually came close to picking up my years-long neglected paper-and-pen journal the other day. I don't know. We'll see.

Anyway, life is changing very fast right now. Or, it will be changing dramatically when the movers show up next week to start packing up our stuff. I took the boys over to the school to return the last of our books to the library there, and had a chance to say good-bye to several people there, including Wyatt's Kindergarten and first grade teacher.

After doing that, I walked home feeling reflective, and here I am, typing on the blog again.

We've spent three years in the Bahamas. It's been a life-changing experience. As I prep for this move, I'm startled by how more relaxed I am about the details. This despite what has been a constantly changing set of orders, one of which came a week ago and has us moving to a different state than we expected.

Our last move, the lack of information freaked me out, and I was so worked up about whether or not the way we were used to living would be possible here. Thinking about the contrast, I realized today that while I've moved around the US quite a bit, each move only required small adjustments in lifestyle. It wasn't too noticeable, or really required that much out of me.

Living here, though, has required us to do just about everything differently. I no longer expect things to happen instantly, no longer fret when I can't get something I was so sure we needed, and no longer agonize over uncertainty or change. I actually thought I was a pretty flexible person before moving here, but realize that really wasn't the case at all. Maybe I was flexible by American standards, but that is about it.

We're going to be homeless by the end of next week with no housing lined up due to the last minute orders change, and Oliver is going to be living in a different state than we are for several months. We don't know how we're going to manage that, financially or otherwise, but I know we'll figure it out. It may not be pretty for awhile, but stuff has a way of working itself out even if it isn't "perfect" the way it happens.

I'm going to miss this place, even as I'm very happy to be moving on. I think that's the best time to go - when you have a lot of reasons to move on, yet you know you will be sad to say good-bye to certain people and places. That's where I'm at.

I very much hope we get another chance to live overseas some day. My first taste has only made me want more.