Barber's Point Cottages

*This was taken from the beach. I meant to get a better pic from the road without all the trees in the way, but I guess I never did! This is the front of our half of the duplex. The other side looked identical.

The last place we stayed in Hawaii were the Barber's Point Cottages on Oahu. We stayed there for four nights, and our overall satisfaction level was a bit mixed. We did agree, however, that we would stay there again, although I have reservations about doing it if we didn't actually live on the island. You'll see why after reading all of this. In order to stay here, you must be military (active, retired, or reserve), a military dependent, DOD civilian, or a guest of one of the above. There are twenty four cottages, some duplex style (like the one we stayed in), some called "deluxe cedar cottages" (no clue what that is supposed to mean, other than they are stand-alone units), and a few 3 bedroom units. The 3 bedrooms sleep eight, and the others sleep 6. Ours had a master bedroom with king size bed and another bedroom in the back with a set of twin beds. The couch in the front room converted into another bed. All of the cottages except the duplexes have a washer/dryer in them and air conditioning in the entire place. Ours only had air conditioning units in the two bedrooms, but we never found this uncomfortable. Twenty of the cottages are right next to the beach, with four of the duplexes sitting behind. They are staggered, though, so we had a nice view of the beach from our porch. The only real problem with this setup is that you have to walk across the gravel road and through some beach grass to get to the beach. Doing this barefoot is a bit miserable, so wear sandals if you stay here and must make this trek. There is no regular maid service at the cottages. If you are in one without a washer and dryer, you will receive a package of linens every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. You can leave your dirty towels on the porch and they will take them away. We did find that whether you leave your towels or not, they will leave a complete package of new ones. So, don't fret too much about it if you forget to leave them out the night before. You'll need to wash your own linens if you stay in the other cottages.

One icky thing about where we stayed were the floors. They are all linoleum, which makes sense considering the cottages are right next to the beach. They were, however, filthy. We were running around barefoot right after arriving, and quickly realized our feet were turning black from the floor. I actually pulled out a rag we'd brought to use as a dishcloth and scrubbed the floor on hands and knees. If we'd lived on Oahu, the Scooba would definitely have been added to the packing list. We did find a mop hanging outside a few days later, but it was one of those rope mops, which might explain the icky floor. I didn't see a bucket to use with it, either. Definitely bring something to clean the floors if you can. There were a few random cleaning solutions under the sink in the kitchen, but bring your own if you have something particular you like. Also, a rug or two would have been nice to have. Old towels will also work great for that purpose. There is a TV with cable and a VCR. Yes, I did say a VCR. If you want to watch DVDs, you'll need to bring your own player. Also, the TV is mounted very high on the wall, hospital room style. The one we had was very basic, with only A/V inputs, so don't come expecting to spend your time watching TV. Also, bring some extra AAs. The remote in our cottage had no batteries. Whether that was because someone stole them or they aren't included, I don't know, but bring them just in case. The included amenities were dishes (stoneware in decent shape), silverware and some random cooking utensils, a knife block (bring a sharp knife if you can; these were very hit or miss), blender, microwave, coffee maker, toaster, hot mitts (once again, bring your own if you can; these were kind of icky), and a dish towel. There was supposed to be dish soap, too, but we never found any. We left our mostly full bottle behind when we left so the next people will have some. Also, bring a dish cloth. If you forget one and try to use one of the white facecloths from the bathroom, you may end up being charged for it later. All "excessively soiled" linens will incur a cleaning charge. Toilet paper and garbage bags are also not provided by MWR, but you may or may not need them. We bought a roll of tp before looking under the sink in the bathroom. I found several rolls under there later, and we actually didn't even need to replace the partial one while we were there. Whoever had been there before us had left behind garbage bags, too. I had planned on using the empty shopping bags from our commissary trip, but we ended up not needing them. Barber's Point was once a Naval base, but isn't now. You'll drive through the remains of its front gate when you go. The nice thing about that, though, is that there's a small commissary, NEX mini-mart (with gas station), golf course (which is where you check-in), bowling alley, and ITT office nearby. The commissary isn't open on Sundays or Mondays, so you'll have to go to the larger one near Pearl Harbor if you need something on those days. We came on a Sunday, so this is what we had to do. The Pearl Harbor commissary is open seven days a week. However, if you can avoid that place, do. It made our commissary on a pay day look empty. The aisles were jammed with people, and it was almost impossible to grab anything without first dodging someone. If we are ever stationed there, I can tell that will be my least favorite place to be. One note about the beach: It's very, very rough. There were times it wasn't too bad, but there were also times we didn't dare go more than a few steps into the water because the waves were so powerful. We had to watch Wyatt like a hawk because of this. So, if you have kids, don't let them go to the beach alone. There are no lifeguards. It would probably make a great place to surf or boogie board, though, if you knew what you were doing. Click on the picture to the right and you'll see how the waves were churning up the sand when they hit. This was probably the worst we saw it. The sand was really nice to play in. It's actually a lot finer and nicer to walk in than the sand we found at Waikiki. It's like all the other sand we found on Hawaii though: you can't just rinse it off, you have to scrub it off. The water actually seems to make it stick worse. It's easier to brush it off when dry. And trust me, if you get buried in this stuff, you will be scrubbing for awhile! Luckily, there are outdoor showers at the cottages. When I first used it, I braced myself for some cold water, but it's really warm. Definitely a reminder we were in Hawaii not Washington! The last thing I should cover is that there is definitely a bug problem there. It is clearly stated in the paperwork that while they are making every effort to take care of them, there will be bugs there. They also state that it is worse in the summer time. They will not give refunds if you find the place too buggy to stay, so be prepared to deal with it or eat the cost of staying there. We were there in August, so I'm assuming we saw it at its worst. Flies, both the fruit and big, black, hairy varieties, and teeny tiny ants were the ones most in evidence. When we were packing up, Oliver went to put away the Wii controllers and discovered one of them had been taken over by the ants. We hadn't played it at all while there, due to the TV set up, but they had been pulled out when we'd taken the laptop out of the bag. He told me later that when he picked the remote up, it went black with all the ants that poured from every crevice and hole. I took it from him after hearing him complain about the ants that were now crawling on him (ick), went outside with it and brushed off as many ants as I could with a paper towel. They just kept coming, so after a bit, we stuck it in the freezer for a few hours. Problem solved. Luckily, it still worked when we brought it back home. My advice is to make sure you keep your electronics zipped into a bag and off the floor whenever you aren't using them. As for the flies, keep your dishes washed after every meal and don't leave food unattended. If you want to eat outside, as we definitely did, don't bring all the food out with you. Just take your plates and drinks and go back inside when you want seconds. We discovered the hard way that if you bring it all outside at once, you'll spend most of your time swatting flies. Not fun. The fruit flies will try to take over anything, especially the garbage. I'd recommend using small trash bags and bringing them out as soon as they are full. Also, don't leave fruit or other food out on the counter. The worst part of all this is that when we got home, we discovered we'd imported a fruit fly problem, something that has never been an issue around here before. If you are staying in one of the deluxe cottages, make sure you wash all your clothes and towels right before you leave. Wipe down anything you can before packing it. Hopefully, this will help prevent that issue. We had a really great time here, despite the aforementioned issues. It only cost us $80 a night (your pay grade is factored into what you pay here, just like at the Hale Koa), and enabled us to make our own food, which also saved us money. We were definitely tired of restaurant fare by then. Staying in hotels had a certain charm, and I did miss the full maid service, but having the boys in their own room meant we finally got to get some sleep and spend a little time alone together after they crashed for the night. We were lucky to get a booking at all because it was summertime and I called only a month ahead of time. I'm glad we were able to stay here!

Wyatt drinks the last of the Ben & Jerry's ice cream. This is our last day there, and we were trying to eat up the last of the food. What better time to bring ice cream to the beach?

Joining Thrifty Green Thursday at the Green Baby Guide

Well, before I jump in and participate in this, I should probably preface this by saying I'm not someone who is all that anxiously engaged in going green. I see the value in doing it, but my interest stems from several fronts, and green is, to be honest, not the highest by far. For instance, I cloth diaper because, first, I became intensely curious about it. When I become curious about something, I typically take it all the way because that's the way I am (ask Oliver and I'm sure he'll tell you how crazy I make him with all the questions). I kept doing it because it was saving us money, and then after I got over the hump where I had to figure out what worked and what didn't, and how to wash the darn things, I kept doing it because it was healthier for Oscar and it started to be pretty fun. I feel good about not putting more plastic in landfills, but if it were only about being green, I wouldn't have ever done it. That said, I do occasionally search out green sites because they have some seriously interesting and useful stuff on them. I found the Green Baby Guide when looking for some pocket diaper information, and I've been reading it ever since. We've made homemade strawberry/spinach popsicles and discovered that white vinegar works great as a rinse aid in the dishwasher (and that stuff is cheap!) since reading it. So, I'm participating in this as a way to send some other people there for some great reading material. One of my other inadvertently green uses is cleaning rags. I've never in my life bought disposable cleaning cloths. When I got married five years ago, we went to the store and bought a big pack of washcloths for a couple bucks at Walmart. We use them in all kinds of ways. Those washcloths have cleaned up food spills (not on the counters, though - we have another set just for food prep and dishes), scrubbed stains in the carpet, and survived potty training. A few have been tossed after particularly disgusting uses, but most of them are still being used. We've thrown a few more on the pile as our kitchen ones needed to be replaced, but that's it. Those couple of dollars are still working hard. Although we do use paper towels on occasion, we rarely have to buy them because they last so long. This is where the above disclaimer comes in - I did this mainly because it's a whole lot cheaper than buying cloths just to throw them away, but I appreciate that we are not filling landfills in our quest to be clean around the house. I've started to experiment with some simpler cleaning solutions, too, in an effort to get away from using some of the harsh chemicals that are not only polluting our waterways, but also aren't great for us from a health standpoint. Maybe I'll write about that later, maybe not. So there you have it, our family's contribution to the planet.

A Great Blog about Saving Money on Your Kids

If you've got kids, I just ran across an awesome blog you might want to check out. It's the Baby Cheapskate blog. I was browsing it today and ran across some info about a sale at the Children's Place. I was curious and checked it out.

Net result? Five pairs of jeans and a pair of sneakers for Wyatt, plus 4 pairs of pjs for the baby with two day shipping (because we leaving on Monday - eek!) for only $50. There was a coupon code on the blog I used, and the most expensive thing was the sneakers, which cost $10.

Yeah, I'm pretty happy. I've been searching for some jeans for Wyatt for awhile now. They are hard to find for anything less than $15, and the ones I've bought at the thrift store always end up with holes in the knees. Boys are too hard on pants to buy them secondhand, I guess. These bad boys cost me all of 5 bucks a piece. I considered buying a few more, too, but that should be ok with a few cords and a khaki or two.

My one regret? I wish I'd found this out sooner, before the clearance stuff was picked through. As it was, a couple things I put in my cart sold out while I was looking. Luckily, they weren't things I really needed.

More Army Wives Laughs

Ok, I can't believe I'm still talking about this show, but I am. Since I'm still watching it, there may be more to come, too, so be warned! Now that my hubbie is home, there are no more tears, even on duty nights, I promise. Anyway, I watched last week's episode tonight. A soldier's remains are found in Vietnam, and they discover he has no family who will be attending his memorial service. So, what does Col. Holden's wife do? She "mobilizes the FRG". I think I actually laughed out loud at this. Next thing you know, they have managed to get a hold of old VA records or something and found his former best friend, and have arranged for flowers, etc. for the service. Before I saw more, I should say I think the FRG often provides a fantastic way to meet other spouses and be more involved in the command. I appreciate that there are women who volunteer to do this (and men; we are subforce, so nary a male spouse around). That said, the FRG (at least in the Navy) is a group of spouses who volunteer to arrange social gatherings, give presents to new babies (we got a bear for Wyatt and a onesie with the boat's name on it for Oscar), and sometimes arrange meals or other things for spouses in need. They don't hunt down MIA soldiers' best friends and arrange fantastic memorial services. At least, not in my world. Maybe the Army is different? P.S. How on earth do these women find babysitters so they can attend everything that happens on base? I need to discover their secret.

Things to Never Say to a Military Wife

"I can't imagine how it must be to be without your husband for months on end! I know I could never do it." Don't say this to us, please. You know what we hear? "Holy cow, I'm so glad I'm not you! Let me look the other way now so I don't have to be some actual help to you while your baby is screaming and the toddler is running away because you were trying to help the baby."

Further Adventures in Cloth Diapering

So, I learned something today. About four years ago, we bought something called Gerber Birdseye prefold diapers to use as burp cloths for Wyatt. Because he had reflux as a baby, they worked out pretty well. One spit up from him could soak one of them. We used to keep them all over the house, and picking him up meant picking up one of the diapers. Because Oscar rarely spits up, they now are just stacked in a basket collecting dust.

I did know they were marketed as diapers, but I really never thought they were actually diapers because I'd only ever seen people use them as burp cloths. (Haha, the disposable people have done their marketing work well!)

However, today, I woke up and realized I'd forgotten to put the diapers in the dryer last night. Ugh. We only have 7 diapers right now because I've been trying out different kinds in search of what one I really want to commit to using most of the time. I did have a larger order on its way, but it didn't arrive until this afternoon.

So, I was faced with pulling out the disposables or getting creative. Since I really, really hate having to use disposables now, I got creative. It occurred to me that those burp cloths might actually work as the diapers they are called. And, really, considering how cheap they were and how much we've already used them, how great would it be if they actually worked out? So, I pulled out one of our Jamtots covers (I don't usually put our covers in the dryer; they come out of the washer almost dry and I want them to last longer; even in the dryer, the inserts take over an hour to dry), folded that bad boy up, and put it on my patient little guy.

People, that diaper actually worked! He even pooped in it, and I got to discover how someone could accidentally flush a diaper down the toilet (no, I didn't drop it, but I sure came close). I actually think they are easier to clean poop off of than our pockets, which is surprising considering all the space-age, fancy fabrics that they use.

I don't think I'll be reaching for this first or anything, and they'd be fairly useless if Oscar was a heavy wetter, but they work out well enough that my diaper stash just grew quite a bit without me buying anything. While I may buy another Bumgenius diaper or two for overnights and brave babysitters willing to try it out, I think we are pretty much done buying cloth diapers for the next year. That means I will have only spent $200 on cloth diapers for one year, possibly more if he doesn't grow out of the sized ones I have. Since we are also using cloth wipes now and washing things only costs detergent, plus I will most likely be able to resell our diapers when we are done with them, all I can say at this point is, why on earth did I not try this with Wyatt??

Here are some photos of the diaper with Gerber prefold in place. Sorry, no baby, he's already asleep for the night!

Tricare Prime Preference Question

Ok, this has long been on my mind, so I'm just going to throw it out there because I'm a curious gal. Why do you military wives avoid using Tricare Prime when you have the option? I mean, when you can use an MTF, but you choose instead to use a provider in town. I used civilian doctors before I was married (not for anything like birth, though), and didn't really think the care was much different from that I receive now. (Except my doctor never deployed to Iraq or PCSd on me, of course!) Since being married, I've only had Tricare Prime and used the Naval Hospital here. I delivered both babies, one with a husband at sea, and have nothing but good to say about it. There are definitely things that didn't work out too well, but nothing I would say is particular to military care or that hospital. What has me really curious about it is the negative impression some people seem to have about military care. We see family practice doctors. They are split between the military providers and a few civilian ones on another floor. The only really negative experiences I've had there have been with the civilians. I avoid them at all costs. It does seem like there are a lot of residents, which is definitely an issue at times. They are hard to get an appointment with which messes up consistent care, and there is the experience factor. The doctor that delivered Wyatt was a resident, though, and she was the best one I've had here yet. I was so sad when she moved to Guam! I'm just really curious why people choose to not use an MTF and avoid the insurance hassles in the civilian world. Unless something horrible happens or it's unavailable, I will not be using in-town care while we are active duty. I just don't see the value of doing that.

Welcome Home Banner Dilemma

Well, it's getting close to the time we can start thinking about making a Welcome Home Banner. I don't know why I have so much trouble with this, but I do. Even though I have no problem telling people what I think about things (my big mouth has unfortunately gotten me into trouble many times), I struggle sometimes when it comes to doing anything that is showy. I hate sticking out - but at the same time, I have no stage fright and will volunteer to sing or talk in church or wherever without thinking twice about it. I realize this makes no sense, but that doesn't mean I can figure out how to change it. So, the welcome home banner. People around here often paint their vehicle windows with messages for homecoming day, and I see banners attached to homes here in housing all the time. I have not done either. The closest I've come is a smaller banner on our front door - inside the screen door. There is also the one still hanging inside the garage by the door to the house that I made three years ago when Wyatt was born. That's where I hung it the day he came home, too. I'm a coward, and it's so dumb! It's not like anyone around here will think I'm weird; they all know what the deal is and have probably done it themselves. I know Oliver would think it's great, too, which makes it worse. So, this time, I'm thinking about making a big one for the outside of the garage door. Wyatt is actually old enough to really help me do it, too, so we could have some fun with it. Maybe whip out the finger paints or something. I have a big piece of paper leftover from something else that would work great for it. Hmm, maybe I should clean the upstairs bathroom, too....

One of the Best Parts of Being Navy...

...is living next to the ocean! And since we finally have some sunshine coming our way, we made the most of it today.



I was having some fun with my new camera. I really, really love that it's a 10x zoom but still fits in my pocket. It means I can take it places like this without worrying about it.




Here's my little guy, sporting what will most likely be his summer uniform if the weather holds: tshirt and cloth diaper! Wyatt was always in onesies as a baby, so I've been on the hunt for little tshirts so we can show off the way cute diapers we have now. I got this one for only 3 bucks on the clearance rack at Kohl's - score!

GI Bill Changes Are Law!

Wow, I just found out Congress has finally passed the GI bill revisions I talked about here. This is really exciting. The GI bill is now double the benefit it once was. It now will pay living expenses and allows the beneficiary to transfer their unused benefits to a spouse or child. You can read more about it here. My mind is spinning with the news; this really does change how we will look at our options and I'm eager to have Oliver home to talk about it. If he gets out, we are in a much better position to send him to school full time without becoming impoverished. And if he stays in and either doesn't go to school or does a lot of it in the military, we can send Wyatt to school on the money as he'll be a senior in high school when Oliver is looking at retirement. I need to find a more detailed article about it so I can think some more.

One Last Army Wives Thought

I watched a few episodes this weekend where Pamela's husband (you know, the one who is in Delta Force) returns from a deployment unannounced. My favorite return was the one where she's in the bathroom and opens the medicine cabinet. When she closes it, he's reflected in the mirror. (Think they got that idea from an old horror flick? I actually laughed out loud when that happened.) I thought it was all a little dramatic and unlikely; come on, she didn't hear the door open? But today, I totally understand how that could happen. And yeah, it's like coming out of your skin.

Flying Alone with your Small Children

Ok, I'm now going to write the post I was desperately searching for when I made my plans to fly alone with my boys.

The Dos and Don'ts of Flying Solo with Your Little Darlings:

1. Consider your carryons very carefully. You and you alone will be handling all the luggage, as well as the children. If any of them need to be carried, consider him or her baggage, too. In my case, I had one to carry and one that would probably walk, but could also be counted on to decide right in the middle of rushing to make the flight that he wasn't into it. The solution in my case was to buy an Ergo. I bought the carrier, backpack, and pouch. Because all of them were able to be used together or alone, this gave me a really versatile system to work with. To keep the load a little lighter, I only put the lightest items in the backpack.

My three year old had his own backpack. I wasn't under any real illusion he would carry it, so I didn't worry too much about the weight of it. His things were in there, and I just slung it across the back of our umbrella stroller. Luckily, our stroller is very well balanced, so whether he was in it or not, it stayed upright.

I also had a DVD player in its own case that I slung across my shoulders. It was small, so this wasn't too much trouble. When we reached the plane, we left the stroller behind and I just carried Wyatt's backpack in front of me until we reached our seat.

Everything fit under the seats in front of us, saving me the trouble of trying to manage an 8 month old baby while stowing things in the overhead bins. I gave up on trying to bring any car seats onto the plane. I just couldn't figure out how to manage all that. Wyatt fit just fine in the seat, and even learned quickly how to put his own seatbelt on, so I'm happy with my decision to check them.

2. About Those Carseats... They were probably the biggest trouble I had the whole trip. The original plan was to leave Wyatt's much larger seat at home and just bring the baby's. However, after my friend's son broke his arm, the plan had to change as I wasn't really sure who would be picking me up when we got home and I would need a seat for him. I ended up ordering a special, wheeled bag from One Step Ahead. Both seats fit nicely into it, so initially I was happy with it. It has wheels and a carrying strap, as well, so it was fairly easy to tote.

I flew Southwest, and after the first flight, there was a big hole punched through the toughest part of the bag. After the return flight home, there was another, smaller hole in another spot. I'm not entirely sure what was at fault, the airline or the bag, but I did discover a major negative from Southwest - they won't cover any damage to your car seat or it's bag. Nada. Not even if it's clearly their fault. So, if you can, leave it at home, or take one you don't care about. And if you aren't flying Southwest, make sure you look into the airline's baggage claim policies before you fly.

On the plus side, One Step Ahead offered to replace the bag when I contacted them about it. It really is a nice bag, so I'm happy they are so willing to do something for me.

3. Use a Skycap and tip them well! This saved me so many headaches. There was no line to stand in, no pushing my bags with my feet while trying to keep Wyatt from running off while in line. We were dropped off at the curb, they took our bags right there, and the wait was negligible. Boarding passes in hand (yes, you can get them there, too!), all that was left to do was wait in the security line.

4. Ah, Security. One thing I learned is that every airport is different when it comes to how they handle families. I flew from Sea-Tac to Denver International. Seattle was a whole lot more friendly about it. The lines were shorter, and when I got there, they immediately directed me to a separate line for families, those needing assistance, and first time fliers (all us slow folks!). This made everything a lot easier and faster. Wyatt never had a chance to get antsy, and I was even lucky enough to find some understanding people who helped me get everything through the line.

Denver was another story entirely. The line was a lot longer and we had to wait in it. There was no going to the designated line until the end, and once we reached that point, I discovered no one was enforcing the designation anyway. So, there was very little help for me as I was surrounded by impatient people not needing help or more time to get through the line. We were close to missing our boarding call because it took so long to get through security.

So, make sure you get there two hours ahead of your flight if you are flying alone with kids. If everything goes smoothly, as it did for me in Seattle, you will have time to just sit and watch the planes. If it doesn't, you will still make your plane. Don't tempt fate!

A couple other things that will make it easier to get through security with your sanity intact: Don't bring any liquids through the line. I brought an empty cup for Wyatt and nursed the baby. If you are formula feeding, premeasure the powder and bring whatever bottles you need for the plane trip (you will be able to buy water once you are past this point).

This will save you any extra explanations and the occasional TSA agent who feels the need to grill you about what you are bringing. Trust me, you won't want to deal with it. Buy your liquids after you pass security and fill your toddler's sippy cup before you get on the plane. This will spare you any spills once you are on board.

Wear slip on shoes and put your child in shoes he can easily get on and off himself. This is especially critical if you are carrying a baby, as you will have to get the stroller and carrier (and car seat if you are carrying one) through the x-ray machine as well. It helps greatly if you aren't messing with shoes, yours or theirs, in this process. I made sure Wyatt had socks on under his sandals, too, so he wasn't walking on the icky floor barefoot.

5. Buy a few new toys your child has never seen, and make sure they are self-contained.
Unfortunately, your toddler will most likely drop things on the plane. I brought a couple new matchbox cars for Wyatt and after he dropped one, it rolled to the back of the plane. We didn't get it back until it was time to deplane. That wasn't the best choice of toy. I also brought (other than the DVD player) a sticker book, a couple of flap books, lacing cards, and some new drawing pencils that I didn't care if we came home with or not. A magna doodle would also have been a good choice, but he already has one so I didn't get one for this trip.

6. You will end up as your children's entertainment on top of managing diaper changes, snacks, etc. so don't plan on being able to read that book you packed.
There was only one time I actually read. It was on the trip home. Wyatt had miraculously fallen asleep, and since the plane wasn't full, I had an extra seat to work with. I strapped the baby in as he sits up really well, gave him some toys, and had a few minutes to myself before he got fussy. On the flight there, I never touched it. I assumed I wouldn't be reading, but packed it anyway, so it was more of a bonus that I got to read instead of frustration that I wasn't able to.

7. Don't pack a sippy cup with a straw. Trust me, it will only result in a sobbing child. I pointedly put this cup in the packed luggage on the trip home and let him drink from the plastic container the drink came in. The pressurization turned the straw into a water cannon. Not fun.

8. Pick snacks that aren't too messy, your child loves, and pack a lot of them. This is another thing I didn't do too well. Wyatt and I made trail mix before we left, something we both like. It didn't work so well on the plane, though. I suspect the flight attendants had something to talk about when they were cleaning up the plane later...

You never know what will happen with all the flight delays, so be prepared for more than just your flight. Bring sandwiches and a few things your child doesn't normally get but loves (fruit snacks are usually my choice for this, as I pretty much never buy them but Wyatt loves them). Even if your flight is only a couple of hours and they never want anything but the Cheerios you packed, you will still feel better knowing you were prepared anyway.

9. If you have a choice, sit in the back of the plane.
Flying Southwest allowed me to pick my own seat (although, they no longer let families with young kids preboard, so be warned and try to check in online as soon as you can - this a major headache and one reason I will be trying harder to get on Jetblue flights - they even have baby changing tables in their plane restrooms!). I always chose to sit a few rows up from the bathroom. If you have a fussy baby, this is the best place to stand and walk them a bit. The flight attendants were accommadating as long as I moved when they needed me to. You aren't allowed to move around like this at the front of the plane. This also leaves you closer to a garbage should you need to quickly get rid of a particularly stinky diaper.

10. Consider carefully the ability of your potty-trained child to wait if needed to use the restroom. This was one of my more difficult decisions to make. I actually packed a few pullups for him just in case, but couldn't bring myself to put one on him the morning we left. He's been trained for over six months now, and while it's rare he has accidents, he still waits until the last minute to tell us he needs to go. I was very worried he'd start asking while we were in the middle of the security line or about to board the plane. If he had been newer at it, I would have just put the pullup on and told him to use it if that happened, but I decided to take my chances.

This is obviously a call you'll have to make yourself as you know your child best, but my advice is if you feel it is at all likely your child won't be able to hold it if needed, use a pullup. An accident while you are trying to juggle everything by yourself is definitely not something you want to deal with at the airport.

11. If you can afford it, pay more for a flight during the day and/or a seat for your lap child (especially if you are flying with more than one child). It's an incredible challenge to do anything while juggling a baby on your lap, as I am sure you already know. This is magnified tenfold on an airplane where you have almost zero room to maneuver. An extra seat can be a lifeline that is worth the money if you have it.

Also, avoid red-eyes unless you have a child who can sleep anywhere. My kids are not capable of this, so I paid more for a middle-of-the-day flight and was so incredibly grateful I did. It was a testament to how hard Wyatt played on our vacation that he fell asleep on the way home. He almost never sleeps in the car.

12. Finally, try not to stress out too much about it. You'll be ok. It may not be the easiest thing you've ever done, but you can do it. And when you get home, you'll be amazed at how empowering the entire experience is. I was literally sick to my stomach the morning before we left, but when I came home, I felt as if I could go out and do a lot of things I usually don't when Oliver is at sea. I am so glad I took the plunge and did it!

*If anyone else has any further ideas, please add them in the comment section! I'm sure I'll be doing this again someday.

Don't watch Army Wives when your husband is deployed

You will cry. Please, do yourself a favor, and stay away! But when he comes home, by all means, annoy him greatly with it.

Finding the Strength to Endure

This has been a weird week. Oliver left, came home one night, and then left again, this time for a lot longer. I've been struggling again today to pull it all together. Wyatt's been rather whiny and needy, and it was driving me crazy. At one point, he looked up at me and said, "I miss Daddy. I miss Daddy playing with me." And that made me think. A lot.

Deployment always seems to bring out the worst in me. There's "Tired Mama", and "Grumpy Mama", "Cereal-for-dinner Mama", and "Do-whatever-you-want Mama". I'm not particularly proud of any of these me's. When Oliver leaves, sometimes it feels like all the life was sucked out of our home and we're just existing until he returns. I hate that. Because in reality, life goes on. It doesn't go into a holding pattern just because the person who brings so much happiness to us all goes away. We have to find a way to make it work. We have to find a way to smile.

So when the sun finally came out later this evening, we went outside, all three of us. I watched Wyatt run around, laughing, and later we kicked a ball back and forth. They took a bath, and I was there, really living in the moment, focusing on them the way I knew I needed to.

I learned something today. Deployment may bring out the worst in me, but it also brings out the best. The truth is, when Oliver is here, I can coast. I don't have to face my bad side. I bring my strengths and he brings his; we meet in the middle and it just works. When he's coming home, he usually gets there between 3 and 4, right when Wyatt is needing the most attention and I'm obsessing about all the things I didn't get done that day. I can say, "Hey babe, I'm glad your home!", kiss him, then let Wyatt lead him away to play. I can hand over the crying baby and disappear into the kitchen to make dinner and do whatever else seems pressing.

I love being able to do that. But I also know it's just as important to learn what I don't do so well and fix it. My dirty little secret is that I don't like a lot of the things my kids do. I don't like watching cartoons, or building roads with blocks; I can live without linking train tracks together or coming up with yet another art project that seems to only produce more clutter that needs to be tossed later. Those are the things Oliver does. And he does it really, really well. So when he's gone, I have to do these things, even when I don't really want to.

Wyatt reminded me today that if I don't find a way to fill Oliver's shoes, at least temporarily, his grief will only be stronger, and it will be harder for me to walk this path. So I took him outside and I lived in the moment. I laughed with him, and was actually disappointed when he was done playing ball and wanted a bath. At bath time, I played with the toys instead of reading a book beside the tub while they splashed.

And you know what? I had fun. I focused on them and remembered all over again why I love these two wonderful, little boys, why I'm so glad they entered my life. I know I have a bond with them I wouldn't have been able to develop if their daddy was here all the time. When he's gone, we're like this little fortress of toughness. I may be the leader, but they pull me along and remind me where to put my feet.

So, no, I didn't marry a man who comes home every night and puts the kids to bed for me. I married a guy who has never had a regular chore around the house because it will always fall back to me when he leaves. I married a guy that forces me to fly by the seat of my pants all. the. time.

Ask me if I'd trade anything about my life right now, and I'd tell you absolutely not. There are some truly terrible things we've been forced to face and conquer, and we did. Every time. I know our marriage is stronger because of this, and I know I'm a person I wouldn't have been if I hadn't married a seafaring man. It's not the things that fall into place that teach you what happiness is; it's the things that don't, that test you and try you to the point you think you'll never prevail. I'm grateful God saw something in me I've never have and lead me down this path.

I'm right where I want to be.

Cloth Diaper Update

Well, I finally got around to using the new cloth diapers I ordered a few weeks ago. I only bought three, so not much to report yet. He went through two of them, both poopy, with nary a blowout, which is fantastic. This little baby has a talent for pooping out the back of his diapers. We just moved him up a size to try to prevent it, and it hasn't worked. If cloth diapers save me from three clothing changes a day, I will be very happy to deal with the laundering of them. (Which I haven't done yet, by the way.) I put Oscar to bed in the last clean one, and am curious to see how that will hold up. He isn't a major wetter, so I don't think it will be too bad; I'm more wondering if it will get uncomfortable for him because it's cloth. He does like having a clean diaper, unlike Wyatt who would run around in a poopy diaper until he had a major rash. We shall see.